Don't ever get involved with a COA/HOA

"blacktruck18" (blacktruck14) 12/22/2014 at 16:56 • Filed to: None

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A little back story, in April I got elected to board of the Condo Owners Association where I live. In June the President and Vice President both resigned at our monthly board meeting. When it was brought up who should replace them everyone kind of looked at me. I agreed to do it, everyday of my life since then I have had to deal with massive amounts of bullshit. Allow me to make a list.

1. Every Friday after work when the weather is nice enough I have a few adult beverages, listen to music and wash whatever vehicle I own at the time. I have been doing this for years and look forward to it during the week as my little relaxation time. Almost every Friday since June I have had people come bitch about dumb bullshit while I am trying to relax. There goes my happiness.

2. Just had to fire a Property Management company for ripping us off/hiring shitty workers do work around thee Condo's in the community.

3. Had the former property management company give my home phone # to 2 tweakers whose house got raided by the cops and cars got impounded. They kept calling me asking where their impounded cars went.

4. Got yelled at by one of the homeowners because while I was doing a walk through of the property with a contractor looking for issues that need to be fixed (on a SATURDAY MY FUCKING DAY OFF FROM WORK YOU FUCKING BITCH) we got to her house later than she expected us to. We were still within the time that we put on the notices we sent to everyone just later that she expected us to be there. Also, she bitched at me because (no joke) "I expected you to be Mexican."

5. Calls, at 4 in the morning from homeowners because their faucets are leaking. They could have called the 24 hour maintenance line the property management company has SINCE THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE COMING TO COME FIX YOUR FUCKING HOUSE YOU DUMBSHITS. But no calling me at 4am seemed right.

6. Getting calls every time a neighbor revs their car to loud. Seriously, this happens everyday.

7. Having a lady tell me that the COA can't put a lien on her house for the $7000 in back dues she owes because she "doesn't work."

Well, today was the last straw. The same lady from #4 above called me and left a voice mail complaining that her house numbers never got put back up after the painters came through over the summer.

The reason her house numbers never got put back up is because she owes the COA $153.63 because, she got a 12' gate put up in her yard when we got new fences put in last summer. Before the fences went up a letter went out to all of the owners that, if they wanted a gate wider than 6' they would have to pay for the difference. At that time she responded to the letter saying she didn't want a bigger gate. But, when the fence guy came through she told them to put in a 12' gate in her yard thinking the COA would never find out and just pay the bill.

The COA did find out (probably when a board member happened to look out their window and saw a 12' gate instead of a 6') but they paid the bill to close the account with the Fence Company. They then sent her the bill for $153.63. She has been refusing to pay it for over a year.

So when we had the painters out I told them not to paint her house because she owed us money. Unfortunately they screwed up and painted her house and left the neighbor's unpainted. FUCK, there went my leverage, when I saw her house was painted I told them to not do anything more than they had done so they left her house numbers off.

She calls me yesterday and left a voice mail so I call her back today and I tell her why I her number's were still off. But, she is older and I felt bad for her and she said she would give me the check for the fence today if I just came over and put up the numbers for her because she doesn't have anyone else to do it for her. I gave in a said fuck it and told her I would go buy the house numbers and put them up myself. Then she changes her mind and starts bitching about the fence again and called me a liar and a "dodo," at which point I hung up on her. Then I sent out my resignation e-mail to the board, property management company and all of the home owners in the community.

Fellow Board Members, Community Members and Dave,

I received a voice mail from (bitchy lady) yesterday in regards to her fence and house numbers. After getting into another argument with her and being called a liar and a "dodo" by her I have decided that I no longer wish to deal with the headaches that come with being the president of the (redacted) Board.

In between everything else going on in my life I do not feel I have the extra time necessary to effectively be the President of the (redacted) Condominium Association. Also being called a liar and a "dodo" kind of annoys me.

I realize that I am leaving at a very bad time for the community. But, I hope I have started the community on a path that will make it better for everyone. I have every confidence that Dave will help the community through the transition and dealings with (old property manager that ripped us off).

(Vice President), if you do not wish to take over as the board president I personally feel (secretary of the board) will do an outstanding job and I feel she should be a full member of the board.

Oh ya, (bitch lady)'s house numbers need to be put up. I was going to go to Home Depot today and buy, out of my own pocket, new house numbers and put them up for her, then she called me a liar and a "dodo" at which point I said F' her house numbers.

Sincerely, blacktruck14

And to keep this car related here is a Camaro similar to one my neighbor has that I constantly get phone calls about.

505Turbeaux > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:04

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haha nice letter. This is why I always own my shit and noone else has a say in it. I do what I goddamn well please. The HOA across the street has it bad though, to the point I NEVER see anyone out doing anything. Goddamn kids not even out playing.

E92M3 > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:06

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Every January my neighborhood begs for new HOA volunteers. You just verified why I ignore their pleas year after year.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:08

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HOAs are a really great way to make sure that responsibilities are "shared" by shifting them from people who should have them and won't to people who either would rather not have them or shouldn't. You are clearly the "rather not" rather than the retired tinpot martinet. Also, there's the catch 22 that an HOA only has enough authority to properly keep a lid on people who really don't need a lid kept on - #4 and #7 respect approximately zero authority whatsoever, or so it would seem, but would be among the first to pressure your use of what you have toward issues as #5 and #6.

All falls back to the principle that almost any authority structure works to a degree, subject to the degree of assholes present.

Viggen > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:10

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COAs and HOAs are literally one of the worst concepts to have ever been conceived.

Whenever I get my first home, no way in hell will I become a part of such a travesty. Ima rev my engine and fly the American flag, because it's my house.

jariten1781 > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:15

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I've taken spots on HOA boards in one year increments solely when I wanted to do something (chop down trees, put up a retaining wall, re-pour driveway) that I knew would be a total PITA or impossible were I not on it. That's the way to do it.

OPPOsaurus WRX > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:26

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man up and wit being a dodo. Haha I designed a house is a HOA. Dumbest shit ever

claramag, Mustaco Master > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:37

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Fellow Board Members, Community Members and Dave,

I don't know who this Dave is but he must be super important to merit a separate mention

blacktruck18 > E92M3 12/22/2014 at 17:40

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Continue ignoring them not, worth the bullshit at all.

Tohru > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:40

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Before you resigned, you should have disbanded the COA.

blacktruck18 > claramag, Mustaco Master 12/22/2014 at 17:41

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He's our property manager. We give him money so I like to make him feel special.

blacktruck18 > jariten1781 12/22/2014 at 17:43

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That was part of my original plan. We have a stupid rule limiting dogs to 60 lbs. I really want a German Sherpard so my whole goal was to get that rule changed.

blacktruck18 > 505Turbeaux 12/22/2014 at 17:45

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I thought buying a condo would be easier than a house for Mrs. Blacktruck. Since the Army likes sending me to third world shit holes every other year.

505Turbeaux > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 17:46

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oh yeah no doubt, should be at least. I know some very easy condo assoc. though around here. sucks

blacktruck18 > Viggen 12/22/2014 at 17:48

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lf they are done right, they are a good idea for condo's just because everyone is so close together. One neighbor being an asshole can shit on everyone.

blacktruck18 > claramag, Mustaco Master 12/22/2014 at 18:01

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And he wears cowboy boots but, isn't a hipster so he is cool in my book.

Frank Grimes > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 18:12

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our hoa is managed by a company. A freaking company who does not even live in the community are making the and enforcing the rules for us...we have cars we like cars and work on cars and get a notice or warning of a fine if one it parked in the driveway unregistered but its totally cool for two houses down the road to have absolutely no landscaping after like 3 years.

of course I dont even think there are home owners on the board or whatevs so it would suck to be in your position. I would just setup an email account and make everyone email everything and fine them if they call your home. also I would rule with an iron fist and might be murdered and my corpse drug through the street but whatevs.

JEM > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 18:31

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Ungh, sorry to hear.

So happy I never have to deal with that. I can put as many pink flamingos on my lawn as I want and no one can bitch about it to me.

rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 18:45

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Preach it! I was on the BOD for my HOA for 3 years. We actually made a couple of pretty serious improvements to the building during my tenure, including doing some maintenance that had been deferred long enough to cause structural issues. The response from owners was of course just to bitch, bitch, bitch about everything.

My absolute favorite was the following: Our condo building was built in 1912 and has a basement that is too low to do anything other than storage. Due to a misreading of SF rules for habitation, that space has been left unused other than for things like power, cable, phones, etc. since the building was converted in 1992. There have been huge signs saying that it was impermissible to store things under there, etc.

Keep in mind this is something like 5000 square feet of storage space in SF. In SOMA. Near the ballpark.

So I did some research and determined that in fact the rules for storage spaces were different, which was a huge win. We had several board and owner meetings and started constructing storage spaces. We probably built 35 in a 44 unit building, and had people wanting 28 or so at the time (they are all now full). We charge for them, but a lot less than any nearby storage (not to mention more convenient) and of course use those fees to hold down general HOA fee increases.

The response from several people who had been storing their stuff in the basement against the rules was totally predictable. By which I mean: did they decide to pay for a storage unit? No, instead they decided to act like entitled pricks wanting to know why "I now have to pay for what used to be free storage." Um, no, jackass - look at the huge signs posted on the doors, they apply to you too. And don't send me an unprofessional email cursing at me about "unannounced" changes that were discussed both at meetings you didn't bother to attend and in emails you clearly didn't bother to read.

Resigned the next week. And they still tried to get me to run again for another term.

SOCdriver > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 18:46

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Don't get me started on mine, they are toothless jerk off busy bodies that need to leave me the FUCK ALONE! The vendor choices have been horrible, they wont get ride of our crazy neighbor who has 7 cars and blocks the street regularly. All the houses in my row have gotten letters about the bushes that are community property. Oh and we had the gardeners kill a dog in a back yard and they are still working for us. I just hope the new board is better, we voted in 100% new people because the old ones were just doing the crony thing for contracts.

thebigbossyboss > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 18:59

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I am sorry this happened to you Mr Blacktruck14.

I hated my condo association when I rented a room in a condo. All they did was bitch at us that we parked in guest parking, which was true. But I digress.

I will never be part of a condo board or hoa. My plan is to rent till I die man.

Houses don't matter to me but they important to mrsbigbossyboss. However, when me and mrsbigbossyboss went our seperate ways, I reverted to my old self not giving a fuck about owning a house!

claramag, Mustaco Master > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 19:27

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Have cowboy boots spread to the hipster world now? *Sigh*

blacktruck18 > claramag, Mustaco Master 12/22/2014 at 20:33

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Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they have. Hipsters pretty much shit on everything so ya.

blacktruck18 > Tohru 12/22/2014 at 20:39

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I actually asked our lawyer about this once, in Washington the COA technically owns the buildings, the condo owners only own the space in between the walls and above the foundation. If the COA gets disbanded by law the homes have to get auctioned and any money made gets split equally among everyone. If it is enough to pay off your mortgage good for you. If not your fucked because your house got sold and now you still owe money on it.

blacktruck18 > rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S 12/22/2014 at 20:44

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Ya my biggest thing has been getting stuff like structural issues fixed and getting the homes looking better. Instead of being happy about that I still get people bitching about the bark in the flower beds never mind that we just spent $20K to get everyone's building nicer I guess there not being enough bark in the flower beds is fucking important.

Oh ya, no joke, someone was bitching that someone else had stacked some of the smaller rocks in the entrance to the community to look like a snow man and put a Santa hat on top. I thought it was awesome. Apparently it was just something for someone else to bitch about.

blacktruck18 > thebigbossyboss 12/22/2014 at 20:50

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I am not even mad that it happened. More than anything I am annoyed that the community will get turned over to the busybody's again we bitch if someone's screen door is different than everyone else's. But didn't give a fuck about the upkeep of the actual buildings.

I am like you I have always rented but, I wanted to buy something as an investment when the market was in the shitter. Our place is in now way fancy or anything but, as an investment it has worked quite well as we have basically done nothing too it and it is worth about $50K more than we bought it for.

Of course after I flip out and burn down everyone's houses I will lose that money but fuck it.

thebigbossyboss > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 22:36

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Yup there was money to be made for sure. Unfortunately I had just come out of uni in 09 so I had no money to invest lol.

shop-teacher > blacktruck18 12/22/2014 at 23:53

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I will never live anywhere with an HOA. This is an excellent example of why.

Tohru > blacktruck18 12/23/2014 at 02:34

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Jesus fucking Christ it's like voluntary Communism